55. I Met Her Family

Now the video call is easy and popular. But we did not have the smart phone then. The handphone was still very convenient. I used to call her on my way to work while I was driving. It would be around 11 o’clock at night for her. I gave her a morning call after my lunch, and I went to bed during her afternoon break.

 

My first gift to her was Norah Jones’ CD, “Come Away With Me.” I still like to listen to it and it reminds me of the sweet times. When I went to see her the first time in Korea, we used to listen to it in her car. 

 

After we exchanged phone calls and e-mails for six months, we started to talk about the marriage. I went to see her in January. I wanted to go during the Christmas time, but I had the family responsibility. Parents were waiting for the Christmas and New Year family get-togethers. I spent the holidays with them and the kids. 

 

I planned to stay in Korea for two weeks. It was not easy to find a room. Four and five-star hotels did not have the handicapped rooms. She visited several of them with a ruler and measured the entrance and the bathroom. She found a place with the kitchen. 

 

It was the first winter in 20 years. It did not feel that cold. She had an old car and we did not experience any problem with the transportation. We went to museums, movies, and cafes, saw her friends, and did everything a couple would do in 6 months in two weeks. 

 

When she visited America a year ago with Eun Kyung, they came to my house on their last day. Ok Soon bought some porcelain decorations and they needed better wrapping for the trip. I had some air-filled fillers for the packing at home. I showed them the house and told them, “This is my sons’ room, this is my daughter’s, and here is my room.” They asked me why the sons’ room was bigger. I explained there were three of them and they needed the bigger room, and that’s why I used the smaller one.

 

While I was talking to her on the phone, I often talked about Brian and Katherine. So, she thought I only had two kids, a son and a daughter. I knew it, but I did not want to correct it. And I had my own reason for not telling her the truth. 

 

I had a co-worker, an Italian lady, who had two kids. She married an older man with four kids. Initially, he lied to her. He said he only had two kids. Right before their marriage, he told her actually there were four. He was afraid she would not marry him if she knew he had four kids. And she said she would not have married him if she had known earlier. 

 

I jokingly asked my sister, Eun Ju, who was living in Korea if she could introduce me her friends. She said no. She said my handicap was a small hurdle compared to the fact there were four kids. No woman would want to marry a man with four kids. 

 

So, I was reluctant to tell her the truth. I put it off and off. Finally, during my stay in Korea, I had to tell her. She did not make a big issue out of it. Well, that was my misunderstanding. Even now, every once in a while, she tells me I was a liar. I tricked her into a marriage. Smiling, she would say she wants her old life back. 

 

A day before I was supposed to meet her family, she bought a hair color. She said I had more grey hairs than her father. I had a section of grey hairs on the front side of my head then, and even now. Depending on the angle, my hairs look all grey. 

 

We went to a Korean restaurant to meet her family. Her father, step-mom (she lost her mother when she was young), brother, and his family came to the lunch. To me, the first impression of the person is always very important and significant. When I met her brother, for no reason, I felt I would have a hardship because of him. It was the precursor that I would adopt and raise his kids in his place. 

 

The wedding bands I ordered after I arrived in Korea were ready. I made a reservation at Lotte Hotel restaurant and asked her to marry me at the table. We scheduled the wedding day and I came home.

 

In two months, she came to meet my family this time.