52. Family Gathering

In a capitalistic society, spending is the virtue. To Americans, New Year Day does not have any significant meaning. They celebrate it with the ball dropping in New York Times Square on New Year Eve. In February, the first Sunday is Superbowl Sunday, NFL championship game. February 14th is Valentine’s Day. Easter is in April, Mother’s Day in May, and Father’s Day in June. July 4th is the beginning of the summer vacation and Labor Day in September is the end of the summer and beginning of the new school year. Halloween is in October, Thanksgiving in November, and the year ends with Christmas in December.

 

Shopping malls display the decorations according to the above holidays, and they offer big sales on or before these holidays. People exchange cards and presents. 

 

Ever since we came to America, our family never skipped Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, parents’ birthdays, New Year Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Before my brother and sisters got jobs, I paid for these family gatherings. We either met at my house or sometimes we went to the restaurants. Once my brother and sister got married, we alternated these gatherings. 

 

Then, my sister moved to the east coast and my brother got divorced. So, we met at my place. The oven of the rental home I lived broke and it was hard to prepare the food. I used to order frozen turkey dinner and heated it up at home. For a couple of times, I asked the nice lady at the deli section of the market to heat up the food. Then, one year I was told they wouldn’t do it anymore. 

 

So, I bought corned beef, cooked in a large pot, and served on Christmas Day. Corned beef and cabbage is Irish dish they eat on March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day. Americans usually eat turkey, ham, and/or prime rib for Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

 

While my parents were alive, we never had our own Mother or Father’s Day. They were always their, grandparents, days. 

 

My uncle had a son and a daughter. After his divorce, he did not get along with them. On holidays, father wanted to include his brother. He liked it when we gave his brother small gifts on holidays.

 

My mother felt sorry for me being alone. I used to tell her that I would find a wife who would give her a birthday meal. My wife cooked and gave her a big birthday party the year we got married. I was glad I was able to keep my promise. 

 

Father liked to gather everyone around and give us a talk on these gatherings. His praise was short. He always gave us lengthy advice and criticism. I knew he meant well and wanted to motivate us. But nevertheless, kids did not like them. Often, he hurt someone’s feeling. 

 

Since the parents are gone now, I am the oldest of the family. I try not to give a long lecture. I read it in a book. The reason old folks like to give lengthy talks is to share their experience with the new generations. They learned their lessons thru trials and do not want their descendants make the same mistakes. My sixty some years’ experience tells me there is no way you can teach anyone how to live. You have to try and learn from your own experience.