29. Ups and Downs

One of my father’s distant cousins was my age. He was the son of my father’s uncle, the leader of the security force when father visited home deserting his company during Korean War.

 

In Korea, once a couple have a baby, they are called by kid’s name. They are called by the name of the first child. People called my parents by “Nam Hee’s father, Nam Hee’s mother.” The above uncle called my parents by “Dong Woon’s father, Dong Woon’s mother” instead, since I was the first son. 

 

Father’s distant cousin’s family had financial difficulties. When he was short of his school tuition, he came to see my father. 

 

I did not call him uncle then. He was my age. I called him by his name, “Eung Ha.” I was envious of him and, at the same time, felt he was my competition. I once saw him playing guitar, and I learned how to play it myself. 

 

I became friendly with him when he was in high school. He told me about his school life. His stories were interesting and entertaining. 

 

While he was preparing to apply for Air Force academy, unexpected tragedy happened. Suddenly, his father passed away. He had to help his mother and take care of his young siblings. 

 

He came to our house at Byeok Je, tutored my bother, and helped around the house. Few months later, he went to work for my father’s other cousin. Her husband, Mr. Park, had a wheel-barrow manufacturing company. He met his future wife there. 

 

He started to look after me and I showed him some respect as my uncle. He took me to the baseball stadium, movie theatres, and the beach for the first time. One day, he suggested we should take the overnight trip to the seashore town. I was still very timid and shy. I never asked my parents to do things for me. He understood my situation and said he would ask my father. He talked to father and got his permission and some money. 

 

We bought ramens and cans of food, and took the bus to Nak San, seashore town. We rented a room and stayed there for two nights. During the day, we dipped our bodies in sea water. At night, we sat on the sands and played guitars. It was the first and last time (maybe it is still too soon to say ‘last’) I dipped in the sea. 

 

We got married around the same time. I had my son, and his was born a year later. He left for America before I did. Higher education was very important for success in Korea. He only had high school diploma. He worked for import and export company, and had a passport and US visa. He left his wife and son home, and went to America alone. 

 

Years later, I met him in America. He did not have the green card and was moving around from an odd job to another. He still wanted to look after me. He took me to firework show at Rose Bowl on July 4th, put me in his van and went to Las Vegas. He once went to Korean national soccer game in Los Angeles. During the half time, he disappeared. He showed up in the middle of the filed and led the cheering. His picture was in Korean papers next day.

 

He continued to struggle alone until his wife came with his son. He got his family back and settled down. They had a daughter. His son went to Naval academy and fulfilled his dream. He made lots of money from his dry-cleaning business and bought a large house. He is doing quite well these days. 

 

Looking at his and my lives, I believe “In life, there are ups and downs.” We all face up hills and down slopes. All we can do is to face it and do the best we can. Some days, we would cry, and other days, we would smile.