28. Special for the Disabled

Two most important basic instincts are appetite and excretion. The very first satisfaction comes from drops of milk from mom’s breast. Then comes the satisfaction of the release. These two behaviors could also make us embarrassed and miserable.

 

When I was young, the sitting toilet was very rare in Korea. Toilet was located at outhouse. The very first flushing toilet was still a basin on the floor level. You had to squat over it. The house father built had the sitting toilet. But I could not use it. The bathroom door was too narrow and there was a bump on the floor. 

 

I had to use a chamber pot. Grandmother used to empty it right after I used it. I never felt embarrassed or inconvenient. The situation after I moved back home was different. Mother was always busy with the business. The chamber pot was not emptied quickly. Often the housemaid emptied it and I did not like it. I was embarrassed. In summer months, the urine smelled ammonia if it sat there for a while. 

 

It got worse when I had upset stomach and diarrhea. To prevent it, I learned to pick and choose what I ate and how much I had. It became the habit which I still stick to. I never overeat. And I do not eat what I don’t like. 

 

One of the best things of America was the bathroom. I could go to bathroom myself and took the showers whenever I wanted to. 

 

I used to take a bath in a large rubber crate at home. Once I got old enough to shave, father took me and my brother to the motel in the city. We rented the motel room to use the private bathhouse to take the bath. 

 

When I visited Korea in 17 years, I stayed at the dorm of “S Rehab Center.” I heard some students did not want to go home during the vacations. They rather stayed at the dorm. They did not have proper toilet and bath tub at home. 

 

It was prior to IMF, and Korean economy was doing well. Nevertheless, it was still hard for the disabled. I went into the restaurant on the back of the employee, and urinated in an empty beer bottle. The bathroom was too small for me to get in. 

 

People I met there used to say “America was heaven for the disabled.” Some people often say the same thing here in America. If the heaven is where people put on beautiful clothes, listen to heavenly music, eat delicious food, and do whatever they wish to do, no, American is not “heaven for the disabled.” If the heaven is where everyone is equally treated and allowed to live up to their potentials, yes, America is “heaven.”

 

There is hardly anything made just for the disabled in America. There is no special bathroom or elevator only for the disabled. Everyone can use them. I was waiting for an elevator at Lotte Department Store in Seoul. Each time the elevator door opened, people rushed in and out, and I could not get in. Someone came to me and told me there was a special elevator for the disabled. I had to go outside, turn the corner, and there was the elevator for the disabled. 

 

Having to make something special only for the disabled is the sign of the discrimination. It implies the disabled person should only use what’s made for them. They are not allowed to join and live with the able bodies.