12. A Woman without a Son

My grandfather was collecting antiques and old coins. He also sold them to the rich and made profit. Jong Roe was the business center of Seoul and there were clusters of rich here and there. He organized and ran several social clubs for them. They paid the membership fees to join. The membership fees were loaned to the borrowers and the interests charged on these loans were the incomes of the clubs. They used the income to have the member trips, seasonal picnics, and holiday banquets. Grandfather loaned the money to businessmen, charged higher interests than the club rates, and kept the differences.

 

He always used cold water to wash his face and hairs. He used laundry soap instead of shampoo to wash his hairs. When he came home, he dusted his pants and shirts with a small towel. I don’t remember ever seeing him shave at home. He went to the barbershop and shaved there once a week. There were young women working at the barbershops. They not only shaved men’s face, but also massaged and picked ear waxes.  

 

He had appendectomy and it did not heal well. He had a small hernia on his lower belly. They could have easily fixed it with a surgery. He was afraid of the surgery and lived with it for the rest of his life. He had to hold his belly when he coughed. 

    

He thought a man of the house fulfilled his responsibility once he provided rice, soy sauce, and fuel for the family. Every fall, he bought bags of rice for a year and coals for the winter. When spring arrived, bugs and moths came out of the rice bags. They ate the rice and left dry and broken grains in the bags. The poor used to buy small bags of rice daily or weekly. We were eating old rice while they were eating fresh one. 

 

He loved pork belly, sugar, and white rice. We never ate wild rice at grandpa’s. Sometime grandmother mixed red beans broken by millstones. His bad diet caught up with him and he had a stroke, which eventually killed him. 

 

My grandmother was an illiterate. She was a smart woman and had a good memory. She knew many fables and phrases, and was good at money management. She took good care of her husband. When she cooked fish, she sat at the dinner table and picked fish bones for grandpa. She seldom ate fish fillet. She ate heads and tails.

 

She was good at making and fixing things. She made grandpa’s pajamas. She spread store bought pajama, draw the pattern on the paper, cut the fabrics, and put them together. She made Korean traditional dress for the neighbor and got money for it.

  

Her real name was ‘Bok Soon.’ Her ID showed the name of ‘Bagaji’(cucurbit). Infant death rate was high in her time. People waited 1-2 years before they registered the birth of a child. Her father asked one of the neighbors who was going to the town to register her. He forgot her name and could not remember it. So, he made one up. 

 

She had an older brother. We used to call him ‘country great-uncle’ or ‘toothless.’ He was a country farmer and did not have any tooth left. He was still able to eat all kind of food including rice cake and ribs. I learned that people could adapt to their environment. 

 

He used to bring his sister stuffs he grew and made. Once he brought her free-range chicken and grandma made chicken stew. He and my grandfather were the same age. They did not like each other. I think grandfather looked down on him. 

 

‘Country great-uncle’ had something to brag about. It was his second son who was going to a college in Seoul. He sold his cow to pay for his tuitions. The son did not live up to his father’s expectations. 

 

College students were opposing to President Park’s peace agreement with Japan. Students’ demonstration was a daily event. One day, he came to the grandparents’ house. He was running away from the police. It was the only image of him I remember. 

 

Grandmother lost her mom when she was young and was raised by her stepmom. She had step siblings, a sister and a brother. They were only few years older than my mother. We used to call them ‘young’ great-uncle and great-aunt. 

 

Grandmother’s great regret was a lack of son. Her sister-in-law knew how to read and write, and she had two sons. Grandma did not like her. Grandma gave a birth to a son. But he died soon. Whenever people talked about their children, grandma made it clear she once had a son, too.

 

In those days, a man would go out and get a son from another woman. Grandfather did not do that. So, she was always very thankful to him. Later in his life, he had an affair with a young woman and disappointed her.