7. Only Walk I Remember

My aunt, my mother’s only sister, was a very pretty woman. I mistook her black and white picture as a movie star’s. She came home a few days after her wedding. I have no memory of her wedding day. I only remember my grandfather grabbing her hairs and slapping her. He was screaming, “You, go out and be dead.” I still don’t know why she came back so quickly after her wedding.

 

Grandfather sent her to his sister. We called her “Great Auntie.” She lost her husband during the Korean War. She owned a Japanese restaurant. It was not a regular restaurant. They hired women to entertain the male customers and served alcoholic drinks. It was a room salon type of business. 

 

My aunt told grandfather she was enrolled in ‘ELI,’ English school, and collected tuition money from him. I doubt she studied much. I learned her English was so poor. She was living a free life out of her father’s sight. 

 

My uncle could not expect any bright future in South Korean society. He had the records of serving in North Korean Army. He was under the watch of the local police. He had to report to them periodically. He decided to leave Korea and go to the United States. I remember waving hands to him at the airport. Until then, my father still took me to all family outings. 

 

Ever since I got the polio at the age of two and a half, I took so much herb medicines, acupuncture needles, and Moxa fire balls. I had scars from the acupuncture needles between my toes, and burn scars on my low back and legs from Moxa fires. One day in my 40’s, I was drying after the shower and realized those scars were gone. The time would eventually heal all scars, even the bad ones.

 

I was about 7 years old. I was getting physical therapy at Medical Center in Eul Ji Ro. There were doctors and nurses from Sweden working there. They said I might be able to walk with the metal brace. I had to build up my arms strength. I lifted my upper body by pushing wood pieces in sitting position. For my leg muscles, they tied my foot on tricycle front wheel and moved them by pushing the tricycle from the back. At home, my parents helped me doing these exercises. 

 

I think it was around the same period. I am not sure whether it was at Medical Center or another hospital. Grandfather took me to the hospital. We had to pick up the prescription. Probably I was already too heavy to be carried around. He told me that he would be back soon. He left me on the bench and went to the pharmacy alone. Once he turned the corner of the building, I could not see him anymore. 

 

I thought I had waited for long time, and there was no sign of him coming back. I started to cry. A nurse in white uniform came over and asked me why I was crying. I told her my grandfather went to pick up the medicine and did not come back. She picked me up in her arms and carried me to the pharmacy. We found him there. 

 

I had a fear the family might desert me. I tried hard to please the adults. I learned how to make them like me and be happy. For example, once my father said he would like to have a ritual service to pay respect to his parents on Chu Seok, Korean Thanksgiving. I gave my mother some money from my savings to buy food for it. I knew they would like it.

 

Finally, my huge metal brace was ready. Everyone had the high expectations. I was able to stand up supported by the brace, but I could not take a single step forward. My legs were too weak to move the heavy metal brace, and my arms were not strong enough to pull me forward. A nurse pushed my metal brace wrapped legs from the behind and I moved forward along approx. 10-meter walkway. That was the only walk I ever remember.

 

The medical staff there recommended a surgery. My father took me and left there immediately. We never went back. We did not take the brace, either. I still wonder whether my father was too quick about the whole situation. I was still young and too weak for the brace. If I continued with my exercises and practiced, maybe I would have walked. Well, it would be rather pushing and pulling than walking. I doubt my life would have changed much even if I walked with the help of the brace. I might have encountered more frustration and despairs.